A very wise Danish man once said: “sorrow is love we can’t let go of”.
That might be the wisest words about grief and sorrow I have ever heard. I think it is so profound because that is just what sorrow is. When we mourn, grieve or are filled with a deep sorrow, it is because we had a connection, a loving, deep connection with someone. We loved and still love someone who is now gone. I often talk to people about looking at grief and sorrow as something you can’t put a time on.
I had a woman come to me yesterday who told me she had such deep sorrow still, because her dog died. She wanted it to stop and she felt like others did not understand what she was going through and kept telling her it was just a dog.
To her, it was not just “a dog”, but it was her friend and she loved her dog dearly. They had been together through a divorce and other big moments in her life. She has such love and she had not given herself the time to let go of that connection and the deep love she felt.
Does that mean that you must stop loving?
Of course not. You just must let go of the connection in this life. You can still love them, and still feel the moments you shared, but this earthly life has passed.
It takes time, for some only a short time, others a very long time. You cannot force yourself to heal, you must let go when you are ready. Some people might never be ready, and that is ok, because that is what they can do.
I can never judge when it is time to let go. I can guide, help and assist, but never judge or force. It is when the soul is ready to let go, (that?) you can let go, and not any time before that. If you are judging yourself and telling yourself that you must let go before you are ready, it will just come back later.
Letting go cannot be forced.