Your spiritual growth comes in hardship.
The human mind is made in such a way that if you have no hardship in life, you stay the same. If you are comfortable in life, you will not change.

Your spiritual growth does not come from meditation and mindfulness. It comes from handling the hard situations in your life. It happens when you are angry, scared, and alone. Those moments when you could do as you always do but change up. When you are down but decide you can do better.

I have been down many times in my life; it is almost countless. My teen years were very hard on me. I could have stayed down, just lying there doing nothing but complain, being a victim of life. I was angry for many years, alone and lost.

I realized it was how I wanted to live my life. I got up little by little. I changed, and I learned from life. I cut off toxic people and changed my outlook, my life. There are so many things you can do in life and often, it is the little things that have the greatest impact.

I meet so many people who tell me how they do all sorts of spiritual things and take yoga classes, meditate (so do I), and go off on retreats. That is all well, but the one thing I react to every time is how has their life been until then. Yoga alone does not make them more spiritual, just like most other spiritual things. It is not bad doing yoga at all, it is great for your mind and body, but there are different things I see as spiritual growth.

The moments when you are the angriest and don’t do like you did the last time you were angry. How do you work with your hard feelings, your grief and your relations to others?

Spiritual you say?

I meet people who are using angel cards, going to yoga classes, and traveling to retreats but they do not change anything else. They are still angry at their past; they are still heartbroken, traumatized and still not resolved with their family. From hardship comes change and if you do not look hardship straights in the eye, there will be no movement, no change.

I have seen people rise from the ashes look hardship straight in the eye and move in enormous leaps in just a short while. They have learned, and they have changed.

One woman came to me with a wish to change things, but in reality, she wanted me to fix her without any work on her part. She wanted me to identify her problems and make them go away.

I meet this “fix me please” often, and people think they can change and work with themselves without any tears and hardship. It takes loads of tears and even more hard decisions to change your life.

Sometimes you even have to part with people you love because you understand how toxic they are towards you. When you have toxic people around you, they have often spent years telling you how wrong you are and how you could never do without them. Hard decisions have to be made when you are dealing with a toxic environment or people.

Most people who think they cannot leave or change because they love someone. Sometimes you must love yourself more. It is not egocentric or selfish, but self-love and self-care.

You are strong and such a beautiful soul. You can make the changes you want.

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