What kind of friends do you have?
I have done a lot of thinking about the nature of friendships and what makes them just that. What makes them last, and what makes them break?
In my world there are at least five types of friendships.
- Friendships where you know each other from a former life. You often feel like you’ve known each other forever, which you actually kinda have. With this type of friendship, you can sometimes feel the deep connection the moment you meet the other person.
- Sometimes you befriend someone who mirrors you in that exact place you are. These friendships can be very valuable for as long as the mirroring is going on, but they seldom last after one or the other moves in another direction.
- Going through things together also creates friendships. These have a solid foundation and tend to last.
- You can also have bad friendships based on the absence of good ones. Needless to say, these are not healthy for you.
- The last type of friendship I can think of, are the unbalanced ones, where one part is constantly helping the other. Good friendships, like all relationships, need balance.
In my view, the single most important factor in a good friendship is that you can be yourself. You can always ask yourself whether you are able to relax with another person or not. This should give you a clue.
For the last couple of years I have been blessed with many new women in my life. For all of them goes that I can be me in their company (as they can be themselves). They all help me remember to care for myself. This is particularly important for me, as it is second nature to me to care for others, but it happens that I forget myself in the proces.
I also have a very good friend of the opposite sex. We have been friends for about 15 years now. I often meet the assumption that men and women can’t be friends without some sort of sexual undercurrent. I don’t understand this. I think of my friend as I think of my girlfriends, despite him being straight.
Everyday I think how lucky I am to have the friends I have.
Do you remember to appreciate your friendships?